Should My Partner Take My Birth Photos?

Why is a birth photographer important?

Here are 6 reasons why you shouldn't leave it up to your partner to take your birth photos:

1. They need to be in the photos too.  To me, this one is the most obvious reason.  While usually it's the mom and baby most people are concerned with getting photographed at a birth you will want your partner in the photos too!  From cutting the umbilical cord, to first time they hold their new baby, to photos of all 3 of you as a new family, including your partner in this moment is priceless!  

2. They will be glad they are in front of the camera, not behind it.  Most partners I work with are hesitant to hire a birth photographer, but once they get those photos and see all those once in a lifetime moments, they'll be glad they did!  

3. They have another job to do.  Most of the time, a partner is at your birth providing support and encouragement and you want them to focus on that!  You want them to be noticing you and your needs, not trying to step back and get the best angle.  

4. They aren't exactly a professional...if you know what I mean.  With the occasional exception, most people aren't skilled at photography like a professional is.  From the lighting, to the right angles and camera settings, to capturing all the details.  A pro knows how to get it done! 

5. Even if they are a professional photographer, they aren't prepared for a birth.  A birth setting can throw some curve balls that only an experienced birth photographer will expect.  This is why when a fellow photographer and her also professional photographer husband were expecting, they hired me!  They knew that they didn't want him to have to worry about being a photographer on the birth of their daughter.

6. A photographer does more than take photos Most birth photographers will include high quality, professional prints, albums (all designed and shipped right to your door), and even things like newborn and maternity sessions!  Can't beat that with a stick!  

Want more information on what a birth photographer can do you for you?  Email me below!

Why I almost punched my nurse....

So it's my first baby, my first delivery.  

I have just spent 14 hours in active labor, with the last hour pushing, shaking, and I'll be honest, puking. 

He's finally here!  

I'm looking at my son for the first time!  He's perfect.  Screaming, wrinkly, squish faced, bald little human.  I'm in love. 

I hear a voice from by my head say "WHO IS THIS?"

I'm out of it and at first think the nurse is referring to the precious new life in my arms.  But I was wrong.  

SHE WAS TAKING A FREAKING PHONE CALL

While I'm in my post labor calm moment.  Meeting the little boy that I have just spent 9 tireless months creating, she answered her cell phone.

She then proceeded prop the phone between her shoulder and cheek like some harassed secretary, scoop up my baby boy, and take him away from me over to be cleaned up and examined. 

If I hadn't been so doped up on hormones and out of sorts, I am sure I would have shrieked at her.  As it was, I was in no state to defend myself.  When you're the new one and they are the "experienced service provider" you don't think you can speak your mind.  You assume they know what's best.  

After she continues the rather loud phone discussion while checking over my freshly born son, my obstetrician gestured to the other nursing staff and got her kicked out of the room.  

While I appreciate his stepping in, I understand that he shouldn't have had to do that.  He was in the process of seeing to my needs and didn't need a huge distraction.  

If I had had a doula, she would have stepped up 

Doulas are there to see to your interests and the interests of your child.  They are your coach, your partner, and your guardian.  

When something isn't going the way it should, they have the experience and confidence to say what it is needed. 

Answering her phone right as my son was born is the equivalent of speaking up in the middle of wedding vows.  What she did was disrespectful, rude, and a prime example of horrible bedside manner.  

Most nurses won't do this.  They treat each birth as if it were their own.  They honor it and cherish it.  But you can't be certain that you will have the best of the best.  But you can hire the best doula possible.  

If you are interested in meeting with a doula and learning more about the services they provide (everything from help during pregnancy to night time nanny care of your newborn!) then please check out www.thrivemamacollective.com and they will hook you up!  

How having dogs prepared me for having a baby, and how it didn't.

Who out there is an animal lover?  *raises hand enthusiastically*

Before having my son and falling madly in love with all things baby, I was living and breathing animals.  Particularly, horses, cats, and of course.... dogs.  

My husband and I had 2 dogs when our son was born.  Our first was Ruby.  She was a pit mix we had adopted from the Stillwater animal shelter while we were in college.  She was perfect.  Calm, sweet, patient, and trustworthy.  She was our baby.  

Our second dog was Willow.  And while very sweet and overall still a great dog, she wasn't as "perfect" as Ruby.   She loves everyone!  But maybe a little TOO much.  I always say that if you give Willow an inch, she'll love you the whole mile.  If you pet her even a little bit, she's crawling into your lap.  And considering she's a Rottweiler/Airdale mix, that's a lot of dog to have in your face.  

I liked to think that having dogs gave me an understanding of how to care for another living thing, and it did!  I learned routine.  It's important to always keep in your mind where your dog is and if it's needs are met.  Now, with a dog it's a lot simpler than with a baby.  For one big thing, you can leave a dog home alone (or at least most dogs you can).  But you can't make a spare of the moment plan to go on a trip without considering where your dog is and if you need to hire a dog sitter.  For some dogs that's really easy.  With all our animals (2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 horses), it isn't.  There aren't many people that can meet those needs and that I trust with my home and beloved pets.  

Another way that it helped is how important their health is.  Dogs are hearty animals.  They can live on a diet of dry dog kibble their whole life and see a vet only a few times for checkups and be good.  But if something happens, they can't tell you what's wrong.  Our sweet Ruby was sick and we had no idea.  We went on a trip and left her in the care of our good friends (who treated her wonderfully).   They called to say she was a little slower than normal, but still was eating, so we weren't too concerned.  The next day they said she wasn't getting up.  They took her to our vet immediately there they found a huge mass in her chest and her lungs were filling with fluid.  It was already too late.  There was no way she would even live long enough for us to come say goodbye.  

I promise I'm not telling you this story to make you cry.  I am telling you so you know that their lives are precious.  And they can't tell you when they are hurt, you just have to read whatever signals they provide.  Same goes for babies!  When our daughter took a tumble a few days ago, we knew she was banged up and achy, and we had her checked out.  At that time it was impossible for the doctor to tell exactly what was wrong.  If she was seriously hurt or if she was sore and scared.  A few days later we had her checked out again when we realized that she was being careful with one of her legs.  Turns out she has a small fracture in her tibia, a very common break in these little bones.  She'll be fine and just has to wear a splint for a few weeks, but I am so glad we didn't brush off her fussiness!  She needed our help! 

Now, there are many ways in which dogs cannot prepare you for a baby.  While I thought I was loving and protective of my dogs, those feeling were multiplied by a thousand when I met my babies.  If you haven't had children yet I can try to explain the feelings that will come over you, but there's no point.  You just have to experience it for yourself.  

And while I love my dogs to the moon.....I love my babies to the moon and back.   And if my dogs ever thought to hurt my babies, I will kick them to the curb faster than you can say "wasn't that your furbaby?" 

How to prepare for a newborn session

So the baby is here.  Congratulations!  You're a parent!  

You're tired, and recovering from a major physical health event (having a baby is hard work, regardless of how the actually delivery was performed).  You are getting no sleep.  The first week is by far the hardest adjustment period in bringing a new little one into your life.  

And now your needy photographer demands that you pack up your diaper bag and bring yourself, your baby, and all the rest of your little family to their studio for a photoshoot.  

What the heck?! Right?!

Please don't stress momma!  You got this!  It's really not that hard and any newborn photographer worth their weight is taking care of you properly.  It really is very important that this photo session happen within the first 2 weeks of baby's arrival, ideally within the 5-10 days old time frame.  Why?  Because this is when baby is sleeping curled up still, they like to feel warm and pretend they are still in the womb.   They also change super fast!  By 4 weeks old that baby has started to plump up and many of them don't fit their newborn clothes any more.  That's how fast they change!  

So, what do you do?  Here's some tips on how to prepare for your newborn session.  

1. Don't worry about what you dress the baby in.  The baby will be mostly naked, wrapped in the wraps the photographer has, or perhaps a cute outfit or two, but those are provided by the photographer as they know what fits and photographs well.  Baggy onesies with cute sayings on them are adorable, don't get me wrong, but those are better suited for quick snapshots, not a newborn session.  Just dress the baby in something that can be taken off without it going over their head, like a snap up or zip up sleeper.  This way if baby is cozy asleep, the photographer can probably undress the baby without waking them. 

2. To feed or not to feed?  That is a tricky question!  Ideally, it would be great to have baby come to the studio tired and hungry.  That way the photographer can undress baby and get them swaddled, then you feed them, and they go into a nice full stomached sleep.  I love to call this the "milk drunk" sleep.  It's the same solid nap we get after a thanksgiving dinner.  If you are coming from less than 20 minutes away, you can feed at home and be prepared to top off when arriving at the studio.  HOWEVER, if you are driving from a ways away and you are leaving the house with a very hungry baby, it's not worth the stress to have your baby screaming the whole car ride!  Go ahead and give them a light meal before you leave to keep them happy until you arrive.  

3. What else should you bring?  If your baby is on formula or being supplemented, then please bring bottles ready to be mixed.   Also, if your baby takes a pacifier then bring that along too.  If you aren't introducing a pacifier or waiting until they are older, that is totally fine!  No pressure either way.  Diapers, wipes, burp clothes, etc are nice, but if you forget them don't turn around.  Most photographers have extras on hand (and usually have pacifiers too, but some babies are picky on brand). 

4.  Have something special that you want to include in the photoshoot?  Be sure to communicate with your photographer just what it is and your expectations before the shoot.  Some items work great!  A cute stuffed animal, wedding rings, jewelry, etc have all worked out great in many sessions.  But there are some items that cannot be attempted due to the safety of the baby.  Balancing baby on something not sturdy, or laying baby in something that could poke or scratch them is not good.  There are some items that baby can be placed on and the photographer can take a series of shots and composite together, so baby isn't actually balancing on said item.  So just be clear with your photographer and any experienced photographer can tell you if your idea will work or not.  

5. What should YOU wear?  And your partner?  Parents should come dressed for heat!  The studio thermostat is usually around 80 to keep baby sleepy and warm while naked.  So come dressed in cool clothes.  Some photographers, myself included, offer outfits for you to change into for when you're in front of the camera.  This is usually gowns for mom and maybe a short sleeved or long sleeved shirt for dad.  So the only thing you need to bring is jeans or solid, neutral colored pants for dad to wear.  If outfits aren't provided or you'd rather wear your own, then I suggest wearing solid, soft neutral colors.  Creams, tans, greys, khakis look best.  Bold colors and patterns create distractions in the image and can reflect the color onto your skin and the baby's skin.  Also, have clean, short fingernails and your makeup should be there, but kept natural.  Hair and and makeup for mom is another thing that some photographers offer included in the session (myself included). 

6. Does the baby have siblings?  Toddlers and older kids can change expectations, but proper planning can eliminate the stress on them and you.  It's usually a good idea for mom and dad to arrive separately.  That way the family and sibling photos can be taken right away and then dad (or grandma, nanny, babysitter, whoever) can leave with the siblings and the rest of the session is focused on the baby with out worry of keeping a toddler happy.  Many photographer do have toys in their studio for toddlers to play with, netflix and a tv or iPad handy, and even outfits for the sibling to wear for their photos. 

7.  How long will it last?  Most sessions run between 2-4 hours.  I know, I know, that's not what you may expect if you are used to family sessions which take more like an hour at the most.  But in newborn photography, taking time is important.  Taking breaks to feed the baby, clean the baby up after babies do what babies do, and preparing and changing setups (backdrops, buckets, props) can quickly suck up time.  If there are twins or triplets (or quads, quints.....etc) then the session will take longer.  I have done a triplet session that took about 7 hours, but it was worth it! 

So that about wraps it up.  If you have any experience with a newborn session yourself and have suggestions on what to include in my prep guide, please let me know!  I hope this helps answer some questions and removes some the stress from such a crazy time in your life.  

10 quick tips on photographing your own baby

Nothing will inspire a person to pick up a camera more than having their own baby!  

While you watch that little newborn squish their face into funny expressions you'll think it's the cutest and funniest thing in the whole world.  

After just a week you'll look at those pics from the hospital and "WOW! You've already grown so much!!!"

Here's some tips on ways to add a little more "umpf" to those pictures.  

So here we go...

1. Turn off the flash!  Ugh, nothing is so unflattering as a bright light illuminating a face and nothing else.  Not to mention it causes red eye! So yeah, do this instead:

2. Open your curtains.  Natural light is the BEST light to photograph with. Experiment with windows in your home at different times of the day. 

3. So what if your house is just too dark?  Take them outside!  Best time is in the morning, evening, or if you have to be out in the middle of the day look for a shady spot.  

4.  Composition.  This is a fancy word for where you place the subject (your baby) within the picture.  Typically we are going to put them square in the center, which is great!  But have some fun with having them on the side, bottom, wherever.  Look at them from different angles too!  Overhead, from underneath, have fun!

5. Tone down the distractions.  Unless you have a specific reason for an funny or cute phrase on a onesie, it's best to keep their clothes as simple as possible.  Also, remove items from around them.  I always loved to lay my babies out on my bed or on a solid color blanket.  

6. Get the details!  Don't forget those little chubby fingers grabbing at their own feet.  Or how looooong the eye lashes are! And no one can look cute with fat rolls....except your baby. 

7. Get in front of the camera.  You'll look back on these photos and really relish these moments, without a doubt.  But you know who your baby wants to see?  You.  They will grow up and really cherish the images where they are tiny in your arms.  The photo below is me with my daughter.  I had my camera on a tripod and set the timer.  A little bit of trouble, sure, but totally worth it! 

8.  Get them with other family members.  Nothing is sweeter than having photos of all your kids together.  Or with their dad.  Or how about the grandparents? 

9.  Be sure to take videos too!  While photography is always great, there are some things that can't every be captured in a photo, such as sound.  Those little grunts and squeals are priceless.  

10.  Hire a professional.  Yup, I had to say it.  While I am sure you will always cherish those pictures you take yourself, nothing can quite compare to the photos a person with training, experience, equipment, and knowledge can create.  If you are worried about the price, please know that many professional photographers, myself included, are happy to work out pricing payment options, offer gift cards (so you can put them on your registry!), and may even occasionally offer a model call sale.  So please seek out these options so you won't look back and regret not having professional quality photos of your son or daughter.